Can’t stop thinking about my ex

March 25, 2020

Dear Pastor,

When I was in my teens, I used talk to this guy who lived in my community. We didn't see each other often, but whenever we saw each other, we would have a great time.

I enjoyed being around him. But I'm not sure what we had was love until now.

Years have passed by and I moved on and I live in a different parish with a different guy and even have children with him.

Treating me badly

But I would always dream about the first guy. I was in love with him in all my dreams but I said to myself I had to stop thinking about him so much.

Recently, my spouse has been treating me badly and cursing me a lot for no good reason and all I would do is to think about the guy that I was with first.

I have always thought about him. I even think I love him even more than how I love my spouse. I don't know what to do.

Should I tell my ex how I feel about him or should I just try and forget all about him?

Please I need your advice.


Dear T.T,

You say that you have children with this man you call your spouse, but he has not been treating you very well.

I want you to know that it is quite natural for you to think about your ex-lover, especially if he treated you with respect and did not abuse you.

It is natural for you to wonder whether you made a mistake by breaking up with him. It happens all the time.

However, it might not be wise to try to renew this intimate relationship with your ex-lover because life with him would not be the same.

You have moved on and you have children with another man. And your ex-boyfriend most likely has another woman.

What I would suggest that you do at the moment is to suggest to your children's father that both of you should make an appointment to see a family counsellor.

I will be praying for you and may God help you.


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