My man’s best friend abused me

April 06, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I never thought that I would have to write to you, but here I am doing so. I have brought problems on myself. I am 25 years old. I live with my boyfriend. He has been very good to me.

He has a best friend who was always telling me how I looked good and that my boyfriend was lucky to have me. I did not take that to mean anything.

My boyfriend had to go away on business for a short period. We are living in Kingston, but he was flying out from Montego Bay.

He said that his best friend would drive his car and take him down. I went with them. The arrangement was that his friend should bring me back to Kingston and park the car at our place.

I can drive, but I do not have a licence. I know now that best friends cannot be trusted, whether they are males or females. I know girls who have sex with their boyfriend's best friends.

I work with some of them. On our way back to Kingston, he said he would like to stop and visit one of his sisters who he hadn't seen for a long time.

I told him it was not a problem. His sister cooked up a storm and told us we must stay for dinner.

When we got back to Kingston, it was very late and he lives in the Portmore area. He wanted to drive the car to his house, but I did not allow him. We did not have money to pay for a taxi.

I suggested that he could spend the night at our apartment by sleeping on the couch.

My boyfriend and I live in a one-bedroom apartment. I was tired, so I showered and went to bed. I closed the door, but I did not lock it.

In my deep sleep, I felt someone between my legs giving me oral sex. I felt confused. It was this man. I could not believe it.

I tried to tell him to stop and to squeeze my legs together, but he did not stop. I was so confused. I told him to leave and never to come back to our apartment and that I would tell my boyfriend what he did.

He asked what I was going to complain about, saying it was 'just one of these things', and he would deny that he touched me.


My boyfriend is back, but I have not said anything to him. This boy called me a couple of times and asked me if I would like to finish what he started. I am so confused.

He has been talking up to my boyfriend and I don't know how to tell my boyfriend that he is a criminal.

What should I do?


Dear L.T.,

I will never be hard with you, but I must say to you that you were very naive. You suggested that this guy could stay in your apartment.

You went to bed, but did not lock your bedroom door. You did not believe that this guy would be so boldfaced to come into your room and sexually abuse you.

He always wanted an opportunity to have sex with you. That was always his desire, so you should have been more careful.

I know it is risky to tell your boyfriend what happened, but I believe that he ought to know. One of the reasons why you should tell him is because this guy is likely to say something about it to others and it may get back to your boyfriend.

So, it is better for you to tell him. This guy is so nasty. You can't take chances with him. He is a dirty rat.


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