I’m cursed when it comes to love

April 07, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am 24 years old. I was involved with a boy from we were in high school. We loved each other but we always had arguments, and when we did, we would say it's over.

But we never formed any new relationships.

In December 2018, we had an argument and I decided that it was over. A young man came along with all the things a woman wanted to hear and I fell for it.

I did not know much about him; however, I went to his place last January and we had sex. I later found out that I was pregnant (I think he did something with the condom).

Looking back, I'm very disappointed because I am not that easy to open my legs.

When I found out that I was pregnant, I got back in touch with him, but it was a waste of time because he didn't care.

I was in school at the time and I couldn't afford to bring the child. So without anyone except my high-school boyfriend knowing, I had an abortion.

During this time, I was trying to get close to my ex-boyfriend again because I still loved him, but he was done with me.

I went away to a foreign country the same year and met another guy, who was younger than myself, and we had a one-night stand. I didn't love him; we were only in the mood for sex.

I came back to Jamaica, trying to get closer to my high-school boyfriend, but he kept pushing me away. But he still talked sexual things with me, so I was confused.

Now, I am just single and sad. I keep wondering if I'm cursed or something, because no guy comes my way to stay. I even tried dating sites, and it's no use.

I desperately need a hard-working partner now that I am about to start my life with the profession of my dreams and living on my own. Please, give me some advice.

P.A.

Dear P.A.,

First of all, I do not doubt that you and your high-school boyfriend loved each other. But it is not unusual for people who love each other to have the occasional quarrel.

A couple should be able to disagree with each other but not be disrespectful.

When both of you ended your relationship, you made a big mistake by going to another man so soon.

You did not know this new man very well, so it was unfortunate that you had sex with him.

You had confidence in your ex-boyfriend, so you told him that this man got you pregnant, and you aborted the pregnancy.

Think about it. Even if he wanted to come back to you, he would be very reluctant because he did not expect you to have sex with another man, let alone have an abortion.

You say that he is always saying sexual things, but is not showing any interest in renewing a relationship with you.

I believe that this young man would have sex with you if you were willing to do so at anytime. But he will never see you as his future bride.

So, always bear that in mind. This guy who got you pregnant is a very wicked fellow. He didn't care about you.

The other man that you met was just a one-night stand. You have to learn that you should not be willing to have sex with just any man because you feel for sex.

You should look at sex as something sacred. Most times, casual sex gets young people into trouble.

I want to suggest that you pray hard and believe that God will give you a good man. Right now, you are behaving as if time is running away from you just because you do not have a boyfriend.

You believe that nobody is interested in you. If you take that position, you are going to give away yourself to any man who can sweet talk you.

I don't want to sound religious, but I believe you should read your Bible and pray and go to church.

Don't fret over your past mistakes. I know it is natural for you to remember that you had an abortion, but you cannot bring that pregnancy back.

If your high-school love invites you out, you may go. But don't allow him to use you. I assure you of my prayers. Please, let me hear from you again.

Pastor

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