Daughter gave my money to her man

September 11, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am 62 and I have given up hard work. I have two grown daughters.

One of them is a nurse, and she is living with her boyfriend. My other daughter lives here with me, and that is why I am writing to you, because I am disappointed in her.

She has a man in her life. When she introduced him to me some time ago, my spirit did not take to him. He didn't talk freely, he kept his head down, and I thought he was lying.

I told my daughter that she must be careful with that man, but she said he was an honest man and he was just scared of me. When she introduced him to me, he didn't have a car.

But after a couple of months, he was driving. My daughter has a good job. I have an account in the bank.

Because of my age, I did not want only my name to be in the account, so I put her name in it. More than $500,000 was in the account.

She was not supposed to touch it without my permission. My daughter first withdrew $200,000, and another time she withdrew $150,000.

I had to pay my car insurance. When I checked the account, I saw that the money was greatly reduced, so I checked with the bank and they told me the money was withdrawn.

When my daughter came home, I asked her why she withdrew my money and she told me that her boyfriend ran into trouble.

I was very angry. I demanded my money. He did not come back to the house until a month or so after. My daughter gave me back $50,000.

I told her I needed all of it, so she said she would pay me back. I waited patiently until her boyfriend came to the house one Sunday.

I asked him when I would get my money, and the out-of-order boy told me that he didn't borrow any money from me, so I should talk to my daughter.

I told him never to put back his foot in my house because he is a damn thief. My daughter took his side. I lost my temper and told her to get out of my house.

She said she wasn't leaving, and I insisted she had to leave. She went away and the following day, I called her and told her to come back home.

Her sister spoke to her also and told her she was wrong to withdraw the money, so she must come home and make it right with me. She came back and told me she was sorry.

Pastor, I don't want to see the young man at all. I shall not lie to you; I cursed some expletives, something I've never done in the presence of my children, but I was so hurt.

How could my daughter do that to me and she knows I am not working? If she had asked me for the money to give it to this man, I would have said no; I never trusted him.

G.M.

Dear G.M.,

I believe that you have indeed worked hard. It is good to know that a man your age has that amount of money in savings and has his own home.

I am also glad to know that one of your daughters lives with you. A man your age should not be living alone, because you may need assistance.

Let us face the fact: you need to trust someone, and you trusted your daughter. But she made a big mistake by withdrawing your money without your knowledge, and giving either all or part of it to her boyfriend. Again, I say, it was a mistake. To make matters worse, your daughter did not say a word to you.

I can imagine how angry you were. What she did, in addition to the young man's reaction, provoked you to the extent that you used expletives.

The young man is rude. Instead of telling you that he didn't borrow anything from you, he should have humbled himself and told you he was sorry for what happened.

Dear brother, your daughter is in love with this young man, so she was trying to help him. That is what love will do. She went about it the wrong way.

But I am glad she is back at the house with you, and I would like you to tell her that you are sorry for the way you reacted.

I hope that the day will come when this young man will apologise to you for his behaviour.

Pastor

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