Fiancé prefers if I sleep in the nude

September 24, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am 28 years old. My parents had me late. I am living at my parents' home, but I am a free woman. My parents are not working. Actually, after my dad paid off the mortgage, I told him that he should stop working and just rest. He still does his little farming, but he is not pressuring himself.

I have a boyfriend. He is 27 and he stays with us sometimes. He is the second boyfriend I am talking home. I could not continue with the first because I found him to be very lazy.

Everything he needed, I had to give him the money to buy it. He wouldn't even help me around the house. So I got fed up of him and told him he had to go.

One day I got a call from a male friend who told me that he was vacationing in Jamaica and would like to see me. This guy and I were in high school together; he was very bright.

We met over lunch, and to my surprise, he said that he did not have a girlfriend. We talked for nearly two hours. We met a couple more times. I told myself that I would not have sex with him, because he might not be speaking the truth. But he was speaking the truth. I went to Canada and met his people. Now we are planning to get married next April.

I have a problem. He does not like to see me clothed in bed. Not even in my underwear. I am not accustomed to sleeping naked. My mother always said that a woman should not be naked in bed because the house might be on fire and she has to run. When I said that to my fiance, he said I could grab the sheet and cover up.

We have a problem because I am not ready to leave Jamaica, and he has a good job in Canada so he is not coming back to live in Jamaica.

Whenever I think about leaving my parents, especially my father, I worry. I prefer to lose this man than to leave my parents because I am their only child.


Dear Y.V.,

You did not say how old your parents are, but you said that you are an only child and they had you late. I understand that you mean that they were advanced in age when you were born.

I love when children think and speak highly of their parents. Whatever their age might be, you need to be commended for taking care of them.

Concerning your boyfriend and his marriage proposal, I would suggest that you accept the proposal, and that you make good arrangements for someone to live at your parents' home and take care of them. I believe that a practical nurse who is mature should be able to minister to them, and do all that they need to get done in the bank and other places.

It should be someone who is trustworthy and who would come highly recommended. If you go and live abroad, you should try to come to Jamaica as often as possible to see your parents.

I further suggest that you discuss this matter with your parents. I am sure that they will not discourage you from going abroad.

I want to believe that your fiance would work with you and would not stop you from coming to Jamaica to visit your parents as often as you would like.

You say that your fiance prefers you to be nude when you're in bed with him. Don't be too worried about that. Many men prefer to have their women in the nude.

But to be fair to these men, many women do not like to sleep in clothes either. A particular caller on the Dear Pastor Show has said numerous times that she does not like to sleep in clothes. She cuddles up to her husband and goes to sleep, but her nightie is close to her in case she has to put on something in an emergency.

It is likely that you will become accustomed to sleeping in your nude after you are married as the weeks and months go by.


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