Spouse talks down to me all the time

October 14, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am having some issues with my girlfriend and I would like your opinion. I am 25 years old and she is 31. We have a child together and she has another from a previous relationship.

I am a security guard and she is a schoolteacher. The way she talks to me, I don't like it. I told her that just because she was making more money than I am, that did not mean that I should just listen to whatever she says. I love this woman more than tongue can tell. I spend a lot of time with the children. I don't work at nights, so I can spend more time at home.

Right now she says that she feels like she might be pregnant. I told her that I hoped not because we could not support another child now.

She also wants us to get married, but I am not in a position to marry her. To spite me, she said that if she finds herself pregnant, she is going to give away the child.

I told her that she can't give away my child. She said that if I don't want to get married, she is going to leave me. I don't want her to leave me, either.

Sometimes when she tells me hard things, I can't sleep. So, please tell me what to do.


Dear L.T.,

You cannot be a bad man; you are a good man. You spend time with the children, and you don't even work at nights, so you can give yourself more time with them.

I think the big problem you are having with your children's mother is that she does not have any respect for you and she does not appreciate you.

Perhaps she feels that she could have done better in getting another man. Can someone please tell her that good men are hard to find? And can someone tell her that she had better hold on to what she has? Like the songwriter said 'If she thinks that no other woman wants him, she can throw him out and someone would have her man before she can count 1, 2, 3'.

Don't allow this woman to push you into marriage; you are not ready. I hope she is not pregnant; and don't make her try to treat you as a boy. You are a grown man.


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