My wife is a serial cheater

December 31, 2020

Dear Pastor,

I am 50 years old and I have four children, two with my former wife and two with my present wife. I am a security guard, I work very hard; I try to be faithful to my wife.

She has not been faithful to me. She cheated on her husband with me while she was married. I always blame myself for that but she had promised me that if we were to get married, she would not cheat, and I believed her. She said her husband did not have any time for her but I made the time for her, Pastor. I feel so awful because although this man and I were never friends, we worked in the same security firm. So we used to see each other all the time and I knew when he was off or was going to get his day off, and it was during that time I used to go and have sex with her. That went on for a good while until somebody told him that she was seeing another man that wears the same company uniform as he does.

I also used to give her more money than what she was getting from her husband. So she left him and filed for a divorce. I am getting a taste of my own medicine that I dished out to this man. She is cheating now with a younger man; he is much younger than I am. She has not been afraid to admit it. I asked my wife why she has to cheat and she asked me if I forgot when she used to cheat with me. I don't want to leave this woman and to start over again because our children are still young but I can't live with a cheating wife. This woman has not worked since I know her and that is what makes it hard on me. She does not bring in a cent. Please give me your advice.

T.L.

Dear T.L.,

As you said, you are getting a taste of your own medicine. There was a time you encouraged this woman to cheat on her husband because you were getting that sexual benefit. Now you don't want to encourage her to do so because you are not strong enough to carry on that rigorous type of sex that you probably used to do when you were younger. She is not only looking for money, she is looking for more sexual satisfaction, which I very much doubt that you are able to give to her. And if you can't give her what she needs, then prepare yourself to get more 'bun'. You say you don't want to break up the marriage so I would suggest that you make an appointment to see a family counsellor to patch things up.

Pastor

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