Husband can’t get enough of me

August 04, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am doing an online course, but my husband says I am neglecting him. I try not to neglect him. When I go home, if my husband is there, I see that everything is in order. We eat together, and I try my best to spend time with him. We look at the news together, and sometimes before the news comes to an end, I am making love to him, right there on the couch. I would then go to my studies.

Sometimes I am very tired, but I have taken up this course and I do not want to fail. I have found my husband looking over my shoulders and reading what I have written on the computer. When I asked him why he was doing so, he said he wanted to be sure that I am not communicating with another man. We laughed about it, but he is still saying we are not spending enough time with each other. We do not have children. I told my husband that he needs to do something to occupy his time. I suggested that he take up an online course too, but he is not interested.

Every time we have sex we use a condom. It is now a big issue. He wants us to stop using condoms so he can get me pregnant. However, I am only 24 years old and I do not want to get pregnant now. I have warned my husband that I would leave him if he continues to stand in my way of furthering my education. A better education would place me in a better position to get a promotion in my company and to earn more money.

Please give me your advice.

Young Wife

Dear Young Wife,

There is a breakdown in communication with your husband and yourself. You have not said how long you guys have been married, but I am assuming that you and your husband plan to have children, but not soon after getting married. When you contemplated taking online courses, your husband should have been told. You may have told him, but he now realises that it is taking up a lot of your time. I am sure he would love for you to finish your studies, and I could see that you have been trying to appease him by trying your best to spend time with him.

He needs more of you, but threatening that you would leave him is not a good way to get him to be quiet. You made a good suggestion to him when you told him that he too could take courses online so both of you could study together. You should, however, note that not all men are interested in studying.

Try your best to do what you can and plan your evenings and weekends together. Ask your husband to make suggestions about how much more time with you he wants. I am sure this matter can be worked out together, but don't stop your studies.

Pastor

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