Girlfriend upset because I have a telephone lover

Dear Pastor,

I did something I now regret dearly. I've been in a relationship with this girl for over four years. It's the longest relationship I've ever had. I really love her, but I did something foolish.

I met this other girl around the third year of our relationship. I became friendly with her. We would talk a lot, sometimes more than how my girlfriend and I would talk. She had a nice personality, much like my girlfriend's, Other than that, I wasn't attracted to her in any way. She wasn't really my type, but yet I still found myself starting up a relationship with her while being with my girlfriend.

In that same year, my girlfriend searched my phone and found out about her. We talked about it and I told her that the girl was just a friend. My girlfriend asked if I could stop talking to her. I lied and said I would, but I still kept in touch with her. My girlfriend kept asking me about her, and I would say she's just a friend and lied some more. Now, last year, my girlfriend found out the whole truth about what was really happening. I confessed at that point, and I told her that I did not do anything with the girl. Honestly, I had the chance to sleep with her but I didn't.

VERY DISTANT

My girlfriend doesn't trust me. She has broken up with me more than three times. We got back together, but things aren't the same. She's very distant. She hardly wants to talk to me, and doesn't even want to see me any more. Most times, I get the feeling that she might be having someone else, but I don't want to think about that too much. I'm still here for her. I still try to talk to her at times. I get confused and depressed because of how she's treating me, but I just keep that to myself and keep going. Telling her I love her is just words, but it has a lot of meaning behind it. So, I'm asking if you could tell me what is it that I should do to make things better between us.

I don't want to lose her, but how I look at it, she's already gone. We both have a ton of options, so I don't want to stand in her way, but I have to try before giving up.

T.S.

Dear T.S.,

You lied to your girlfriend several times about this other girl, so you should suffer. Your girlfriend should leave you permanently. She should drop you and not look back. You are not an honest man. This woman who is ignoring you is intelligent. To her, you are a waste of time. You are not going to make a good spouse to the woman you call your girlfriend. So I say to her that she is quite correct in dropping you. One day she may find a man she can trust. You, sir, are nothing but a liar.

Pastor