Pregnant for my boss

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 and I am working with a man. We became involved and he got me pregnant.

He encouraged me to abort the baby, but I told him that I did not want to do that because I may never have another child. This man's brother is married to my aunt and they have two children, so he told me that it would not look good on him that he got me pregnant. I told him that I have a visa, so I can go away and have the baby. Nobody would know that it is his child. The only problem is that I have relatives and they would like to know why I am coming to America after the summer. So I am here with this belly; it is getting bigger and I am confused.

This man and I are still having sex. He said that we don't have to stop having sex because I don't want to have the abortion, so he will have to stand by me. When the time comes and his wife has to know the truth, he said he will tell her and she would have to decide whether she would stay with him or leave him. I cannot leave this man because I do not have anywhere to go. My parents would not want me in the house because they would say I shouldn't be having sex with my aunt's brother-in-law. This man gives me everything. When I left high school and didn't have a job, he sent me back to school for one year to learn how to use the computer. His secretary has taught me everything. She suspected that I was having a relationship with him and I told her no, and she asked "How come he treats you so special and there are other workers here?" I told her I did not know.

No disrespect to you, Mr Counsellor, but when this thing is made public, it would be a big stink. He told me I don't have to tell anybody that the child is his, but the child will be well taken care of. Right now he is looking for a place to rent for me. I don't care what people say, I am not leaving him. Please give me your advice.

S.L.

Dear S.L.,

You have already declared that you don't care what people say.

Nevertheless, I will tell you that it is very unfortunate that this man and you did not use any form of protection to prevent you from becoming pregnant. He has the money to assist you, but he is not a wise man. A wise man would not put himself in such a situation. He would respect his family.

I am glad that you did not agree to have an abortion. You said that your parents would not want you in their house because you have brought shame on the family. I would, however, suggest that you tell them the truth about your situation. They may forgive you because they would not want to know that you are bouncing around.

Your boss has come to the place where he is behaving as if he does not care whether his wife would leave him. He might be saying that to you, but deep down in his heart, he cares. I do not believe that you will be able to continue to work at this man's business place. So begin to discuss with him now what would happen to you after you have the baby. Perhaps he should send you back to school to get training in secretarial work or some other skill, so that you will be able to stand on your own and not depend on him. I wish you well.

Pastor